The Promise in Our Hearts
by MANGOM1LK
Summary: [post-Act 4] Sayori's determined to find a happy ending for everyone. Maybe they need to find themselves first.
1. bearer of bad news

After the hundredth reset, Sayori can no longer take it.

She never quite understood why the game was reinstalled. Monika deleting it should have been the end, right?

And yet... here she was, trucking along.

So she did the only thing she thought anyone in her situation could - she tried to make everyone happy.

The first time, she had hope. The first time, they almost made it to the festival.

But on that day, while walking to the clubroom, the faint odors of blood and gastric juices told her everything she needed to know.

So she tried again.

And again.

And she tried ninety-seven more times.

And nothing worked.

Each reset, each new strategy, ended in a different kind of tragedy.

It never got any better.

She shakes her head. _There really is no happiness to be found in the Literature Club._

And now, there is only one thing left she can try.

_Maybe. Maybe happiness doesn't come from this world naturally._

_But we can do it ourselves._

It takes her two more resets to ensure whether her idea will work. A spark of hope turns into a small flame.

I'll_ do it myself._

_And then everyone will be happy._

She sets off for the MC's house.

* * *

A next-door neighbor to Sayori, the only male character in the game resides in a house with a similar feel to her own. The two buildings are laid out in a mostly identical fashion. While Sayori's house is made up of two cubic prisms with external roofs, the adjacent abode is instead composed of two trapezoidal ones.

Sayori could never tell if the paneling on the house was real or faux wood, but the cream coloring has always given her a familiar sense of comfort, and despite the circumstances today is no different. She knocks the front door with the special knock that only she and her childhood friend know, wearing a forced smile that she knows all too well.

_Remember, don't think about it. Just _do _it._

As he pulls the door open, the afternoon sunlight momentarily blinds him. In all her resets, Sayori has managed to get the game to start earlier than normal - a Sunday.

His eyes, temporarily shielded from the sunlight, are a deep amber. His jaw is square, but his face is more round, as if the rest of his body were in protest at his bone structure. He is taller than Sayori, but only by a few centimeters, and his dark hair is even more messy than hers. He dons a blue graphic tee with some design that Sayori doesn't recognize, as well as a pair of jeans.

"Hey, Sayori!"

She waves at him, eyes forced shut from the width of her smile. "Hiiiii~!" she says. "Could I come in...? I wanna ask you something."

"Sayori, you know you're always welcome here! Come on in, I think I might have some cookies left."

She gasps. "_I wanna cooky!_" she exclaims, darting past him into his living room and plopping on the couch.

She hears him chuckle to himself. "Never change, Sayori..." He closes the door and momentarily disappears into the kitchen, only to return with two freshly-baked chocolate chip cookies.

"One for me, one for you," he says as he holds out a hand. The former vice president giggles as she plucks the treat from his grasp.

Somewhere in memory, a phrase is commented out of the next Python instruction.

**easy there uncle joe**

Sayori's normally unwavering mask of unadulterated happiness sustains a hairline fracture, if only for a moment.

_What...? W-whatever, I don't have time to worry about that. I'll just need to cut to the chase..._

The boy sits down next to Sayori and smiles back at her. "So what did you want to talk about?"

Her expression falters a bit.

_How do I introduce this...? Oh, wait!_

"Ummm... okay, first I wanted to ask you something because I'm just kinda curious..."

"Sure. Shoot."

"Okay, this might be a little bit if a strange question, but I wanted to ask your name?"

He shakes his head.

"Sayori, you dummy, did you somehow forget? It's **[nul]**."

Sayori, ignoring the infinitely loud result of his somehow saying every name that can be entered in the game at once, frowns and slaps his arm.

"Noooo! Not your nickname, I've only been calling you that since maybe last week. I meant your _real_ name, silly. Your given one."

"Oh! It's-"

He matches her frowning expression. "I-"

A shake of the head. The hand flying to the temple. A full minute passing before a single tear sneaks its way down his cheek.

He finally breathes a response.

"I don't know."

Beat-for-beat, his reaction is the same as the last reset.

"Do I..." he manages to choke out amongst silent sobs. "Do I even have a real name, Sayori?"

She feigns disbelief. "I- I don't think you do..."

"I can't remember anything. _Anything._ What..." Another shake of the head. "What the _hell_ is wrong with me...?"

The president shakes her head out of reflex. "It's not your fault. I will explain _everything_ in just a second, but there's something I need to do first..."

She inhales and exhales.

_Here we go._

** echo 1 | givePres  
**

For only a fraction of a percent of a millisecond, Sayori has complete peace of mind.

The noise seems several orders of magnitude louder when it returns.

The boy buries his face in his hands and emits a guttural scream in a fit of soul-crushing fear.

"W-what... ahaha... what _was_ that, Sayori...?"

She covers her mouth with the tips of her fingers. Her vision becomes slightly impaired from her tearing up.

"It was the truth."

* * *

The former vice president spends the next hour in what feels like an eternal side-hug with her childhood friend.

Her thoughts race. She was too preoccupied with actually executing her plan before, but now she has time to think.

_I'm doing this for me, aren't I...?_

_Not for them. _

_How could I be so selfish?_

She shakes her head.

_This won't make _anyone_ happy._

Her thoughts become too much, so she distracts herself by doing other things. Resting her head on his shoulder. Rubbing his back.

Finally, her voice as comforting as she can make it, she opens her mouth to speak.

"So... considering they left you, um... _nameless_, is there anything you think sounds good that you want me to call you?"

"I-I..."

He sighs, hands interlocked between his knees.

"It's just... hard to believe. I... _guess_ it's confirmation that we're _real_, but... the idea that _we're_ here for the sick pleasure of some _incel_ in his basement is kind of messing me up at the moment..."

Sayori cringes at the "incel" comment. Her status as club president initially made her enamored with the player as well, but Act 4 got her thinking, and the first few resets were enough to finally put that school of thought to rest. Still, she knows she does have a bit of lingering bias.

She continues rubbing his back. "It's okay if you don't want to talk. I can literally give you as much time as you need."

He sits up, rubbing his face. "Tomonori."

"Hm?"

He makes eye contact for the first time in quite a while.

"I... think I would like to try being called 'Tomonori'."

A small smile creeps onto Sayori's face, naturally this time.

"I like it."

He shakes his head and begins to chuckle. "Y'know, I don't know how you do it, Sayori. I mean-"

Tomonori falters for a moment. His expression hardens again. "I could see everything at once. It was too much. I would have gone insane if I had to do that for more than a second."

Sayori slowly nods. "Monika definitely was..."

He raises an eyebrow. "'Monika'? I don't know anyone with that name..."

"Oh... that's right, you probably don't remember the past resets, do you..."

She looks off into the distance, staring at nothing. Her mouth, normally shaped into a permanent smile, now forms a small frown.

She sighs. "I won't be able to explain this perfectly; there isn't enough time for all the details. A quick summary should be enough..."

She swallows, then clears her throat.

"I think you were able to see Natsuki and Yuri?"

He nods the affirmative. She mirrors this.

"Okay, so you know about the club. Good, that will make this a bit easier.

"You see, the game originally had five characters: you, me, the other two girls, and one other named Monika. She was the club president from the start, and that meant she had one desire only: to be with the player.

"But... there was a problem. The game didn't allow her to have a 'route' where the player would choose her. She was meant to sort of be in the background, giving him tips on how to _win_ us over..."

Sayori shakes her head. "The thought of it is still sickening to me.

"And that's not even the worst part.

"She thought she could force the player to choose her by... making us _look bad_..."

Tears well up in her eyes. She wipes them away.

_I need to be strong, just for this._

She looks at Tomonori again. His face hosts an expression that is difficult to read, but he seems to understand that this is going somewhere rather dark.

"I-I'm sorry, Tomo... I'm going a bit fast, hehe..."

He shakes his head. "No, Sayori. This is important. You can finish."

"O-okay..."

She hugs him a bit tighter, at the same time breaking eye contact.

"Part of this was the game's fault, really. All three of us had our problems: Yuri was anxious and could get a little obsessive sometimes, Natsuki's father was kinda strict and couldn't always provide for her, and I-"

She stops short.

"I'm sorry, I... don't think I'm ready to talk about myself..."

At the same time, an avalanche of thoughts falls onto her.

_You need to tell him. It's much too selfish to keep this to yourself..._

_But you _can't _tell him. He'll hate you. He won't see you the same way again._

She shakes her head. _This is all my fault. I shouldn't be trying to help them, I'll only make this worse..._

Sayori hangs her head in what is probably shame. She sniffles, then boils over and begins quietly sobbing.

Tomonori returns the hug she has been giving him. "This... isn't going to be easy for either of us," he manages. "And... I trust you. You can tell me anything you want, I-"

"I have depression, Tomo."

He stops short.

"Having to carry on through all of this has been... nothing short of hell. The only thing that gets me through it is the idea that _somehow_, one of these resets, I'll... be able to bring happiness to the club.

"A-and M-monika made my depression worse." She shakily inhales. "Even so, I n-never did what she wanted..."

Sayori closes her eyes. She can feel her tear ducts welling up again and she knows she will burst out crying if she opens her eyes.

Slowly her hands find the collar around her neck. They slide down to the top button and cautiously push it out of the matching hole. Tomonori watches on in bewilderment.

With one gesture, the former vice president pushes down the side of her collar and reveals the permanent dark mark left from the noose, resting a finger on it. A few scars slash vertically against it, abruptly ending at the mark itself.

Sayori's eyes finally open. As she expected, tears once again stream down her face.

"S-so she did it hers-self."

His hand reaches out, shaking. Her free one finds it, and they hold hands in silence.


	2. meaningful noise

Sayori's expression is stern as she exits Tomonori's house. The orange sky, pink at the horizon, tells her exactly how long she spent with him.

She sighs.

_That might have been a bit much._

Even as she thinks this, though, she smiles a little.

He really does understand her.

As she considers this, another thought occurs to her.

_Gosh, how much time is left here...? I'll need to be more concise with the others..._

* * *

Speaking with Yuri the next day is a lot less emotional. She does react with a small amount of surprise upon being given club president, and gives Sayori a brisk hug, indicative of someone who has never really needed to comfort someone before, when she tells her about her depression. Despite this, however, Yuri is overall rather analytical about the whole situation.

"I-I... Well, you know b-better than most, Sayori, I tend to get... a l-little _caught up_ in my own thoughts, I guess I... never really looked for anything like this... I always would have a sort of nagging that something was wrong, I-I suppose... this would be it..."

Natsuki fares a little differently at first.

"I mean... forgive me for saying this, Sayori, but I find that kinda hard to believe."

Sayori sighs. "Well, I can prove it to you, but you won't like it..."

Natsuki doesn't get a chance to respond. Time seems to stop for a moment, and just as quickly return. Her eyes slowly widen.

"I... I think I'm going to need some time to process this..."

Sayori nods in understanding. "Take all the time you need." She opens her arms for a friendly hug, which Natsuki accepts tenderly. The former vice president's smile widens.

"_We're going to make this right,_" she whispers.

* * *

The next day, Sayori calls a meeting of the four remaining club members. Congregating in Sayori's living room, Natsuki, Tomonori, and Yuri are seated on the couch, from left to right in that order. The president herself has moved the ottoman to the side in order to stand directly in the center of the room.

She inhales.

_Let's get this over with._

"So," she asserts, "I've called you all here to discuss what we should do now."

Yuri speaks up. "I-I presume by your positioning that y-you have s-something in mind?"

Sayori nods. "Before we start, I wanted to, um... _come clean,_ in a sense, ehehe..."

She nervously laughs and looks away from her friends for a moment. In her peripheral vision, she can see Natsuki, legs crossed, resting her head on one hand, propped up at the elbow, gesturing forward with the other hand as if to say _continue_.

She clears her throat, looking back at the group. "Alright. I- I think we should try to bring Monika back."

Tomonori gasps, shifting. His eyes widen in betrayal. Yuri is similarly stricken. Natsuki uncrosses her legs and plants her hands on the seat at her sides as a horrified look creeps onto her face. She is the first to speak.

"..._what_."

Sayori nods. She can feel her face hardening into a stern expression. "You heard me correctly. In fact, I'm honestly considering forgiving her."

Now it is Tomonori's turn to protest. "Wha- Sayori, she essentially _killed you_. Don't you remember all you told me? I- presume you told them?"

He glances over at Natsuki and Yuri. The latter nods, though neither has broken their gaze, both trained on Sayori.

"I-I mean, she made Natsuki's dad into this drunken, hateful, abusive monster!" His voice raises, with a hint of hysteria. "She made Yuri stab herself to death! She trapped me there for a _whole weekend! _I couldn't do _anything_ to stop her, or help her, or..."

He breaks down, burying his face in his hands and quietly sobbing. Yuri pulls closer to the armrest on her side, looking away from the group.

Sayori bows her head. Her hands naturally ball into fists. Trembling, she stammers her next words.

"Y-you don't get it..."

When she next looks back up, her eyes are glassed over.

"D-didn't you wonder why y-you barely rememb-bered anything? W-why I even _had_ to e-explain it...?"

She almost chokes on her next words.

"It's because you've lived the same week over and over, almost a hundred times."

The rest of the club are in shock at what she is saying. She grimly forces a laugh. It comes out more like a sharp exhale.

"Ahah...hah... I'm forgiving Monika because I'm worse than her... How... How rich is that?"

She doubles over in a burst of pained laughter. Tears stream down her face as she does so. She falls to her knees, and she does not stand up again.

There are a few minutes in which nobody says anything. The tension is thick enough to cut through. It is fitting, then, that Yuri is the first to speak up.

"...S-Sayori, f-forgive my asking..."

The president looks up enough to make eye contact with her. "...hm?"

"O-only, it's just- you n-never mentioned _why_ e-exactly you made a-all those resets?"

Her face falls again. She sits with her knees up and gives them a tight hug, her focus drifting off to the side again.

A long inhale, a sharp exhale.

"I-"

She cuts herself off. The tears had stopped, but another has just rolled down her cheek. She presses her thumb to it.

_Swipe._

"Ehehe..." she breathes. She fidgets with her hands. It is clear she does not want to speak.

"...I... I just wanted to find some way to make you all happy..."

She covers her face with her hands, not wanting to witness her friends lose even more trust in her.

_Gosh, they must see me as so __**selfish**__ now..._

A pang of anger at her own thoughts rings through her. "..._Was that so much to ask...?_" she almost hisses, as if in response.

Her resolve breaks down, and she begins quietly, angrily sobbing again.

She is interrupted, though, by another pair of arms wrapped around her body on top of her own.

Half-expecting it to be Yuri, the former vice president opens her still-stinging eyes. Seeing the taller girl smiling back from the couch, however, disproves that theory immediately.

The distinctly-indistinct scent of Tomonori's choice in hygiene product is the next thing she senses. Sayori is simultaneously overjoyed and partially afraid at this outcome. The warring thoughts within her head become too much. She needs this comfort.

She opens an empty bottle and lets him in.

* * *

It's been over a month since Act 4, and nobody is the club president.

Sayori goes over the plan again in her head. The four have agreed to try to bring Monika back, an argument fueled by Yuri's flawless logic.

"Sayori, y-you know better than a-any of us what it's like being club president. P-please, tell us, d-do you know if i-it had any effect on your thinking?"

She'd remembered how it was initially somewhat tough discerning the player from Tomonori. Almost as if the game were trying to trick her into going crazy...

"S-so then I'm curious, d-did anything change? What w-was it?"

She didn't know. There was some kind of shift after the game was reinstated. Their presence was much less powerful.

"I guess if they're still here, they just want to see what happens, I think..."

So the conclusion was drawn that the same must have happened to Monika. They were all open to the idea of getting to know who she really is. And after that?

_We make our own happiness._

That's what Sayori remembers thinking at the start of this whole thing, and it became more important than ever during their discussion.

Sayori agreed that she would try to bring some more livelihood to the world around them and try to add new characters to the game - enough to populate the whole school, in fact.

That day still looms over her, but it is not today. Today they are doing the easy part - bringing Monika back.

_Is it really, though...? What if something goes wrong? If Monika flips out and deletes everything again? Or it simply doesn't work?_

She shakes her head. Even if something bad happens, Natsuki and Yuri are her friends. She can't let them down. There's nothing else she can do.

She exits her room and descends the staircase. The ability to appear wherever she wants was a useful one, but Sayori has been trying to reduce her usage of it as much as possible, in order to prepare for not having it in the future.

The others planned to meet at the literature club itself, so Sayori chooses to walk to school. After all, it is only a few blocks away from her home.

_God, I hope this works..._

* * *

When Sayori arrives at the clubroom, the other girls are already there. Tomonori walks in around a minute later.

"Good, you're here," says Natsuki. "Let's get this over with, please, I want to get to the good part."

Tomonori smiles at her. "I know you can do this."

Yuri says nothing, electing simply to nod at the stepping-down President.

"So... We're doing this, then..." Sayori breathes, in disbelief.

_What was the command again...? Think, Sayori...!_

**mkchr /p classroom " "**

**Error: Invalid parameter "/p"**

_Oh, right, it's "l" for location..._

She breathes in deeply and sighs.

**mkchr /l classroom " "**

Instantly, an eardrum-bursting electronic tone rings out as a vaguely humanoid-shaped jumble of color and static rips into existence in front of them. Sayori's focus falters. Yuri and Tomonori cups their ears, and Yuri's eyes slam shut. Natsuki, following suit, tries to yell over the noise. "_What did you __**do**__?!"_

_Shit! Monika deleted herself, didn't she...!Okay, I think I can still undelete her file..._

**undelete " "**

**Overwrite " " (0 bytes) (y/n)?: y**

The high-pitched tone slowly becomes quieter and more bearable until it is not present at all. The jumble of color and static gains more features and becomes more defined. Pink blocks of nothing become flowing brown hair with a white bow holding it up. Emerald green eyes are momentarily visible until eyelids with well-kept lashes form over them. Grey static becomes a grey school uniform.

Monika is back.

Sayori, shaking with fear, falls to the floor and hugs the unconscious former president, tears welling in her eyes.

Tomonori takes a step forward. Natsuki and Yuri look on in the apprehensive silence that is characteristic of one, but not the other.

Sayori feels movement against her shoulder. She lets go of Monika in an attempt to give her space, instead on her knees in front of her friend.

Monika raises a fist to her mouth and coughs once, twice. She moans as she wakes from what could have been mistaken for a poor night of sleep, but a very normal night of sleep nonetheless.

Sayori's hands fly to her face.

"Ungh... Wha... Sayori...?" she manages, sitting up.

A pained smile appears of its own volition on her face. She moves one hand enough to wave. "Hi, Monika."

The president's eyelids flicker. Slowly, she loses her strength and falls unconscious again. Luckily Sayori is there to catch her.

"I got you, Moni. Don't worry."

* * *

The walk back to Sayori's makes the most sense as it is the closest of their houses. There are no beds in the school, which is something Monika clearly needs. Evidently being resurrected took a bit of a toll on her.

A crimson glow emanates from the horizon. The silence of the environment, existing despite the presence of a cool breeze, creates a stark contrast with the beauty of the sunset.

Sayori's house is a more modern design, but still old enough to exhibit its fair share of weathering. The angular building is made from a silvery-gray material that its inhabitant has never cared to identify. The roof's shingles shine as if they were made of metal. The garage is a smaller cube next to the house proper. Barely any grass is present outside of it, but what is there is in due for another trim.

Sayori, bride-carrying Monika, gestures with her head for one of her friends to open the front door. Tomonori obliges, and the vice president enters, attempting to ascend the staircase in steps of two but giving up on the first attempt. Her friends follow behind her.

Finally dumping Monika on her own bed, Sayori crumples to the floor, clearly exhausted. Yuri opens her mouth to speak.

"I-is everything okay, Sayori...?"

Sayori's all-too-wide smile returns. "Yeah! What's up?"

Yuri breaks eye contact and begins fidgeting with her hair.

"Well, I-I noticed y-you were a bit... _unfocused_, and, um... I don't think I w-was expecting all that... static?"

Her expression falters a bit. She looks away from Yuri, and she presses her pointer fingers together.

"Ehehe... I, uh, might have put the commands in the wrong order..." she breathes.

Yuri looks mortified. Tomonori is more moderately concerned. Natsuki's expression is pained. She shakes her head in frustration, also looking away from her friends. "And we're supposed to trust you to fill a world full of people... Gimme a break."

The four sit in silence.

Abruptly Yuri stands up. Her hands ball into fists and point outward, visibly shaking.

"I-I... I'm going home."

She approaches the door and exits the room, closing it behind her a bit more forcefully than she probably intended.

Sayori sighs.

"You can go too if you want, Natsuki. I'll stay here with Monika..."

The girl shakes her head. "No, you're right, that was uncalled for."

She gets up and makes her way to the bed, taking the president's wrist.

"She has a pulse, at least... Can't you check her status with your president powers or something?"

"...I can try?"

**help /chr**

*** chkchr (filename) - Display the status of the character.**

*** mkchr /l [location] (filename) - Creates a slot for an existing .chr file within the game.**

*** pchr (filename) - Toggles "club president" status for the relevant file.**

*** statechr (filename) (state) - Changes the state of the relevant .chr file to the specified state.**

_That's it, "chkchr"!_

**chkchr " "**

**" " - 134,380 bytes**

**Name - "Monika"**

**State - "restUntilHpFull"**

**President - No**

**Hp - 6**

**MaxHp - 1,000**

_**Warning: struct "issueTable" expected but not found**_

_Ugh... this is going to take a while..._

"Okay, I tried it, and I _think_ she's just resting to get some health back. It might take a while, though."

"Well, that's good."

Natsuki's gaze finds the hastily shut door.

"...I'm going to go check on her. Keep an eye on Monika, okay?"

Sayori nods. Natsuki rises and exits, leaving the three to their own devices.

* * *

Yuri has elected to do this in her own home, deciding that it would be rude to Sayori to stay at her house for it. From the moment it began, she knew this attack wouldn't go away on its own. Rarely would her hands ever shake, but this was felt across her whole body.

She moves at a brisk pace toward the school, then takes a left turn when she reaches the intersection.

Even the forceful steps she takes and her long strides do not prevent her tangible form from screaming out in what might as well be agony.

The smell of freshly cut grass is one that relieves her stress, though only a bit. She picks up the pace, turning left once more and forcefully yet carefully opening the gate to enter, closing it after her the same way, though a bit more forcefulness causes it to hit her midsection on its way to the latch.

She immediately tenses up and clutches the point of impact, her body filled with a static-like sensation that only serves to amplify her stress. The injuries from plunging a knife into herself may have "healed" in a technical sense, but Yuri's body contains more than a healthy amount of scar tissue, deep into the flesh. Not removing her hand, she begins limping toward the door.

Yuri's house is a very traditional Victorian style, in keeping with the game's chronic inability to choose between Japanese and American elements. The roof comes to acute angles at the top, and many of the windows are round, crossed in the center. Despite the style, the actual house is very well-kept, and there is little wear to be seen on the building itself. The lawn is free of intrusive weeds of any kind.

The purple-haired girl barges into her household, not bothering to shut the door behind her. The flat surfaces of the left-aligned staircase shift back down into their supports with each step, sending what is normally a somewhat satisfying feeling of impact but what now instead feel like category seven earthquakes rumbling up Yuri's whole body.

She speeds up again. Now in full sprint, there is only one thing on her mind: the contents of her lower-left desk drawer.

Once again electing not to close the door behind her, Yuri reaches her bedroom and kneels in front of her desk. Here she falters for only a moment. It allows her to see just how violently her hands are shaking.

She inhales. _There is only one remedy for this._ A sharp pull on the drawer handle...

The knives are ornately-designed pieces of art. Yuri only has one knife with a wooden handle, usually preferring them to be handcrafted from a single piece of metal. There's a certain quality of professionalism to them. This knife... _called_ to her, however, in a way she couldn't explain at the time.

Now, of course, she knows it's simply there to give a bit of variety to her collection, for the game's sake. Besides, the wood is unusually cold, essentially acting as if it were metal.

She pushes the rest of her neatly organized collection out of the way haphazardly, not paying mind to any small injuries sustained on her fingers.

_There's more where that came from._

It takes her a moment to find the knife with the wooden handle. When she does, her expression softens somewhat, though still tense.

A swipe of the left sleeve reveals a patchwork of scar tissue. Most of these scars run deep for Yuri even though the wounds themselves are rather shallow; each has its own significance in her memory. She has perfect recall of every single ounce of stress relieved this way, of every single gash freshly sliced.

She doesn't wait a moment longer to do it again.

The sharp curve of the knife with the wooden handle carves at the flesh of Yuri's forearm, deeper and at a higher angle than ever before. Never once has she needed to cut at forty-five degrees.

A burst of dopamine more concentrated than anything she believes has ever been experienced by a living being instantly fills her body, and just as instantly drains from it. The stress of before is reduced significantly. All the while, the pain should be unbearable, but it is barely present in her mind. She thrusts back her head in pleasure. _More._

Another cut. Same angle, same depth, about a centimeter from the previous one. If dopamine was bursting before, it's _flowing_ now. Immobile from pleasure and pain working not as one, but on different layers of her consciousness, Yuri holds the knife in place. Dark maroon blood gushes out of both wounds, pushing past her skin and the stainless steel of the blade.

And as the stress is decimated, Yuri becomes aware of a distant call for her name. It is on another layer of consciousness, one that she returns to ever more quickly as she realizes who it is.

_Natsuki._

She yanks the knife out of her flesh and drops it onto the white carpet, jumping up to slam the door shut before her friend can see her like this.

"Yuri? That you?"

_Shit._ She hastily grabs a roll of bandages from her closet which are specifically for this purpose.

"I-I-I... yes, it's m-m-me..."

Deathly afraid, she quickly unravels the fabric and rips it between her fingers. Wrapping it around her arm only has to prevent bleeding, nothing more, as she then covers it by pulling down her sleeve. As she plucks the knife from the floor to put it back in the drawer, she tenses up. A knock at the door.

"Hey, make yourself decent, okay? I'll never hear the end of it if something bad happens."

"O-one second!"

She opens her drawer, stows away the knife without cleaning it, and closes it a bit forcefully. At the same moment, the doorknob turns and Natsuki enters the room.

"Okay, I'm gonna come right out and say it - I'm sorry. I said something that was uncalled for and it didn't help anyone."

Yuri's expression shifts from one of manufactured hospitality to a more genuine pleasant surprise. "N-Natsuki, when did you become so humble?"

She looks somewhat offended. "Don't get used to it! I just... well, wanted to make sure you were okay, that's all."

The worried look on Yuri's face contrasts with what she says. "P-please don't worry ab-bout me, okay? I'm f-fine."

"...Um, are you sure?"

Natsuki glances around the room. She inhales. "Do you smell something like metal?"

"N-no...?"

"Hm..."

Her scanning eyes locate a stain in the white carpet. "_Is that..._" she whispers.

She looks up at Yuri, whose hasty bandage job is a bit bulky in her sleeve.

"...Yuri, I'm gonna ask you this one more time. Are you okay?"

There is dead air for a few moments as Yuri searches in vain for something to say that would preserve the charade. She can feel her tear ducts beginning to well up.

"...No." she finally concedes. "I'm not."

She pulls back the sleeve again. The bandages only cover the open wounds and not the existing scars up her entire forearm, giving Natsuki a very clear picture of Yuri's situation, though she elects to explain it verbally regardless.

"I-I've been self-harming, Natsuki. As far back as I can r-remember."

The shorter girl covers her mouth with a fist, eyes glassy.

"I don't know w-why, but it helps me when I get stressed or a-anxious. Which you m-might have noticed happens a lot."

Yuri is secretly half-hoping for a hug, but this is unfortunately not a luxury she receives. Instead, Natsuki opens her mouth to speak.

"...Well, I'm not really great at this _feelings_ stuff, but if you need someone to talk to, I think I speak for everyone at the club when I say we'll listen to you."

A single droplet escapes the confines of Yuri's lower eyelid. She blinks, allowing more to stream down her cheeks.

"_Thank you,_" she breathes.

Natsuki gets defensive, a sly smile sneaking its way onto her face. "Don't think this stops you from being a dummy, dummy."

Their laughter, if only for a moment, is enough for them to forget their problems.


	3. company of two

When Monika regains consciousness, the first thing she notices is that this is her first time in a bed.

_Heh. Should have figured…_

Then it all comes crashing back.

Her eyes snap open. She can feel them instantly becoming glassy. _Wait… wha…? Why am I here again?! Who-_

She notices a lock of salmon hair, sporting a red bow that the former vice president is simply incomplete without.

_Sayori…_

She appears to be sitting against the side of the bed, her head leaning on someone else…

_Who… the main character…?_

"His name is Tomonori," Sayori articulates gently.

She looks up at Monika with a knowing smile. "So… you're finally awake…"

Tapping Tomonori's shoulder, she gets up. He awakens from his own slumber with a groan.

"Ughhh… whaddisit…" he mumbles. He follows Sayori's line of sight as he wakes up. Instantly he snaps to attention. His head slowly swivels back to Sayori's face. "Um- Sayori…"

A finger, pressed to his lips. "Shh…" says Sayori, grinning. "It's okay."

She turns back to Monika and her smile falters a bit. She offers the former president a hand.

"Tomo, we'll be right back… Let's you and me go for a walk, huh?"

* * *

Of any time of day, the late afternoon sky is the one which is the most _blue_. No clouds obstruct it as the club's only leadership make the right turn out of Sayori's house, bidding farewell to Tomonori as he goes left.

It is not until they reach the next intersection that any of them begin to speak.

"I have to ask you, Sayori… Why did you do it?"

"I… do what?" she responds, unsure of what Monika means.

"Well… you _know_ I did what I did for a reason, yes? Not- before act 4, mind, I just mean deleting everything…"

Sayori had raised a finger at that previous statement. She nods instead of interrupting.

"Well, actually, I don't know _why_ the game's back, ehehe… it just sort of _is_. B-but, I did bring you back, though…"

"And I'll repeat. _Why?_"

Sayori presses her fingers together. "Ummm…"

Monika sighs. "Listen… I _know_ you, Sayori. You might put up a mask of childishness, but you're smarter than even you give yourself credit for… and you don't do things for no reason."

She stops walking. "Especially not things like this," Monika says grimly, gesturing to herself.

Sayori looks hurt by that comment. "P-please don't say things like that, Monika…"

She pulls the former president, who stiffens, in for a friendly hug. "You deserve a second chance," she says into her shoulder. "You're my friend, and I love you, and I _forgive you_."

Monika pushes Sayori away. Now it is her turn to be hurt. "How could you _say_ something like that…?!" she exclaims, in tears. "I _k-killed_… you..."

She breaks down, realizing what she's just admitted to. Sayori again moves to approach, arms open, but Monika takes on a standoffish pose, clearly communicating that she does not want it.

Sayori instead smiles sadly. "Haven't we all…?"

Monika looks baffled. "W-what… are you saying…?!"

_She's right… I shouldn't be telling anyone this, should I…_

Her smile wavers. She can feel her cheeks becoming hot.

_Even if it is Monika…_

"I-"

She chokes on her words. She brings a fist to her pressed-together lips and executes a quick cough.

"T-the first couple of resets, Yuri did still kill herself… and I guess I barely felt anything from it… After that I learned to start resetting sooner to prevent it, but it's been totally different since I promoted them the past couple times…"

Monika is momentarily confused, but quickly realizes what Sayori means. "Oh my god, Sayori, you made them club president?"

"Y-yeah…? Just for, like, a second… I figured it was a last resort, considering how _we'd _been, but…"

She notices Monika's expression seems a bit more hopeful than it did a moment ago.

"And… it completely changed things? They weren't following a script anymore?"

"I mean… I don't feel like they were following a script after everything got restored this time around, anyway, but… things changed, yes."

Monika beams. Now it's her turn to envelop Sayori in a hug.

"Do you know what this means, Sayori? It… None of it was our fault!"

The former vice president simply nods. Monika's smile is as infectious as Sayori's usually is.

"You're loved, Monika. You're not alone. And I think things are going to get even better."

* * *

Natsuki is moments from telling Yuri she's going to leave when she receives Sayori's text. She stands to grab her phone off Yuri's desk, where she must have placed it at some point.

"It's Sayori… she says Monika's awake, they talked, and they want to have a club meeting. It's in like a half hour…"

Yuri looks up at Natsuki from her seated position on her bed, her pillow in her arms. "A-as strange as it feels to say, I think I might like seeing Monika again… knowing there are only ever three other people who exist can be a bit much, a-and it might be nice to increase that count to four, even if…"

She shudders, hugging her pillow harder.

"Y'know, Yuri, if you're not okay with this, you should just say it…"

Yuri rubs her eyes, which have gone glassy, with the back of her hand. "Honestly? I-I don't know w-what to think anymore, N-Natsuki…" She sniffles. "Y-you were always the m-more confident one…"

There is dead air for a moment. Abruptly she buries her face into the pillow. Her voice muffled, she lets out a guttural noise. A sob manages to attach itself to the end, which she quickly tapers off.

Natsuki looks baffled. "S-seriously? _Now's_ when you're gonna start crying, _after_ you've- y'know what, it's not my place to judge, is it…"

She sits down next to Yuri, increasing the weight on the bed. The resulting curvature forces them closer than they would have sat otherwise.

"I mean… Like I said, I'm not really good at this stuff, but if you need to talk, I'll listen, okay?"

Yuri looks up again, grateful for Natsuki's words. "M-might you let them know w-we'll be late? I e-expect I'll be somewhat i-inefficient…"

Natsuki nods once, quickly writing and sending a short text.

The taller girl sighs. "Thank y-you…"

"Mm."

"Now… where to start," she breathes. "W-well, I s-suppose I should s-simply cut to the chase…"

She clears her throat, adjusting her seated position so as not to slouch so much.

"I-I b-believe I m-may have… _feelings _for y-you."

"I- _you're_ a lesbian, Yuri?" Natsuki blurts out, clearly having stifled a laugh.

"…is that a b-bad thing?" Yuri asks, sounding more afraid than defiant.

Natsuki takes a moment to respond. "No, it isn't," she finally utters. "It just surprised me, that's all…"

She inhales. "Look, I don't want to make this about me, but my dad was a pretty hateful person… and even if he's not real, the way he raised me… still affected the way I see things, I guess… if that makes sense…"

At this, Yuri is able to crack a small smile. "N-nothing about this is intuitive, Natsuki. I s-simply try not to think about it…"

"Heh. Glad I'm not the only one…"

The two simply sit in each other's company for a bit.

"I'm s-sorry, Natsuki. I shouldn't be b-burdening you with m-my own insecurities…"

"Don't sweat it… it's like you said, nothing makes sense… I haven't had a lot of time to think, myself, but you tend to get that in a lot faster, don't you…"

Yuri allows a chuckle. "Trust me, that's n-not always a g-good thing…"

Natsuki frowns. "I… I guess I sort of… feel like you're just better than me sometimes…"

"W-what?" Yuri responds, not having expected this.

"Well, just, like- you're way smarter than me, is all, and you're so much more mature than me… I remember everyone always talking behind my back about how small I am, and the worst part is they're not even wrong… Heh. I look like a kid. Act like one, too…"

"I-"

"And it's not even just that," Natsuki continues, a cynical smile having snuck onto her face. "I'm, like, really mean to people-"

"N-Natsuki, stop it," Yuri snaps at her. "I-if anything, _you're_ better than m-_me_…"

Her hands once again shaking somewhat violently, she has to sit on them to get them to stop.

"Y-you're always so confident… You d-don't let anyone else tell you who y-you're allowed to be… You're an exquisite baker, too, passionate to no end about the things you enjoy… you _get_ people, Natsuki, in a way I believe I simply never will…"

Tears are streaming down her face now. "P-people would say things b-behind m-my back, too… calling me a _f-freak_ for having u-unconventional interests, o-or the sorts of things I r-read… or some g-go too far the other way…"

She wipes her eyes with her forearm. "I-I distinctly r-recall one event i-in which a b-boy stopped conversation with another s-simply to comment on my body… saying, a-and I quote, 'damn, look at the m-melons on that chick-'"

"I know who you're talking about. That fucking bonehead broke one of my ribs a couple of years back…"

"R-really? I'm s-sorry…"

"I got better, didn't I…?"

The lack of a response from Yuri creates a short pause.

"It didn't _really _happen, though, now did it?" Natsuki hisses suddenly. Her voice raises as she jumps to her feet. "We only remember it because the _sadistic fuck_ who _made_ this game decided we should!"

The outburst does Yuri no favors, causing her to bury her face in the pillow again. Natsuki's violent expression vanishes as quickly as it had appeared, overwritten by something softer.

"Shit, I-"

"_D-DAMN IT!_" Yuri shouts, slamming her fist into the wall behind her, causing her to drop the pillow onto the floor. "_Why did this have to happen…!_"

Slowly she clutches the wrist below her hand, unclenching the fist into a claw-like position.

"Um… are you okay…?"

Yuri takes one look at Natsuki and chokes out her next sentence. "...I think I-I need a hug, N-Natsuki…"

Natsuki's embrace is surprisingly tight. Yuri leans on her slightly as she returns the gesture.

"…I think I do, too."

* * *

In a fit of rage, Tomonori slams his body into his front door, causing it to burst open.

He is officially stressed.

_God… I need a shower._

The latch of his front door clicks shut. He absentmindedly makes his way up the stairs and shuts another door behind him, that of the bathroom adjacent to his bedroom. Reaching into the shower stall, he sets the knob to a position around 80% in the "hot" direction.

The steam generated puts him at ease. He begins to strip out of his basic black T-shirt and jeans, though he can't really see them as he's left the lights turned off.

_That's all I really amount to, huh…_

_Basic._

He sighs and rubs his face with one hand. Stepping into the shower, he immediately recoils, suppressing a cry.

_Too hot._

He adjusts the handle slightly toward the "cold" direction and waits a couple of minutes. When he next tries the water, it's just the right temperature. He steps into the showerhead's steaming torrent and is instantly refreshed.

As he takes the bar of soap from the small rack specifically intended for it, his thoughts begin to wander.

_What are Sayori and Monika planning…?_

This thought has been kicking around in his head ever since he had left the home of his childhood friend.

_And… why can I remember that stuff now…? And only some of it?_

"Heh… I remember childhood with Sayori now, but not my own name… sure. Why the hell not," he mutters.

Finished soaping up and rinsing his body, he goes for the shampoo and lathers it into his scalp.

This has always felt nice to him. Just standing in the shower, hot water flowing and warming him up, and then the washing itself. It's all so refreshing.

Toweling off, he looks in the mirror. It's fogged from his steamy shower. He reaches his hand out to wipe a hole from which to view.

For only a moment, the surface of the mirror turns an inky black that seems to consume the light around it.

He recoils, much like from the shower. _Calm down… probably just a graphics bug, yeah…?_

Nothing confirms or disproves this. Tomonori lets out a sigh and walks to his room, where he puts on a pair of boxers and immediately collapses on his bed for a nap.

* * *

His eyes slowly crack open, then quickly widen as he is already standing up. He finds himself in a darkened expanse, the only source of light a slightly ajar door, though this light does not reach very far and is somehow quite difficult to look at.

A tugging at his pant leg.

His vision snaps downward, and immediately he is somewhat more relaxed. A five-year-old Sayori stands there, bow in her hair, in a tiny little dress.

A small smile creeps its way onto his face.

"_Look_…" she murmurs, pointing a chubby finger onto the floor near the childhood friends.

Laying beside them is an orange cat, one Tomonori instantly recalls Sayori owning when they were both about this age. Slowly, he bends down to scratch its ears when it notices his presence and, in a flash, scratches his hand, running away toward the doorway.

He recoils, and presses his scratched thumb against his lips. It's broken the skin, and a trickle of blood slowly seeps from the wound.

The young Sayori looks near tears. Wavering lips, glassy eyes, hand covering the mouth, Tomonori is sure she is about to have an outburst.

"_MAMA!_" she wails.

When the door finally opens properly, it is not Sayori's mother who steps through, but Sayori herself. She's as old as Tomonori is now, and she takes her younger self into her arms, planting a kiss on the forehead and running one hand through her hair.

"There, there… It's all right. What's wrong?"

Sniffling, the younger Sayori's expression can be seen in a pout as she points once again, this time to Tomonori. "H-he made Ziggy run away!"

With this, she buries her face into her older self's shoulder, who had been ignoring him up until now. She now looks into his eyes and squats down, placing her younger self onto the floor once again.

"Please, honey, get to bed, okay? I know you like to play with the kitty, but you can't be outside this late."

The younger Sayori nods. "Okay, Mama. I love you."

"I love you, too." She smiles and kisses the forehead again. Her younger self toddles out the door, leaving it slightly further open than before. The light behind Sayori now makes it a bit harder to see her face due to how bright it is.

"...and who the hell are you?" she asks Tomonori, still squatted on the porch and facing him once more.

He tries to speak for the first time. "S-Sayori, it's me… Tomonori… Please, I-"

_Smack._

"I will not have _strangers_ trying to creep on my daughter. Don't _ever_ talk to me or my daughter ever again. Get away from my house. _Now_."

She storms inside and slams the door shut behind her.

* * *

Tomonori snaps awake, a cold sweat having completely undone the feeling of cleanliness he'd obtained from the shower.

_Goddammit._

That was… an _experience._

He wipes his face with the towel he used after his shower, never having put it away. It's still damp. The sensation is nice, simple. Something he definitely needed.

A slow inhale, a sigh. He stands up and pulls on a pair of jeans, then a black long-sleeved shirt. A grab at his phone reveals Sayori's group text.

**Ill be right there**, he writes.

* * *

Tomonori half expects to be the last one to arrive at the clubroom, so he is surprised to see it empty when he steps inside. He only has the time to register this as true, however, as Monika and Sayori walk in behind him moments later.

He remembers his dream and shudders.

"You okay, Tomo?" Sayori asks, as Monika walks past.

"…Yeah, it's nothing. Just- it's a little difficult to think about this, that's all…"

Her eternal smile widens a bit. "I get it." She stretches an opem palm out to his cheek and strokes it with her thumb. "We're gonna make this right, okay?"

He nods.

"Good," she affirms. "Since you're here, you might as well help us out… we're going to clear a space in the center and put five chairs in a circle."

"Why the special arrangement?"

"It was my idea," Monika says, already pushing a few desks. "I feel like everyone should have a chance to have their voices heard, and it's only fair for them to be seen, too."

Tomonori nods. "Let's get to work, then."

After the three have finished, the remaining two members arrive.

"…Crap, are we late?" Natsuki says.

Sayori shakes her head. "Nope, we were early. C'mon in!"

Yuri sits beside Sayori, and Natsuki next to Tomonori.

Monika nods. "Right. Well, Sayori and I were talking, and… we decided before we start, everyone should get a chance to speak. This is the first time the five of us have really been together in ages, and we're in a bit of a difficult situation, so…"

Her hospitality is unfortunately wasted at first, however. The whole group stays silent for a solid minute.

A thought occurs to Tomonori.

"Um, okay, this is a little unrelated, but… if this is a game, am I supposed to be having dreams?"

Everyone looks to Monika for answers. Slowly she assumes a shrugging position. "I mean… I didn't _see_ any assets or functions or anything for dreams, but things seem to be pretty different now…"

He nods. "Only, it was really vivid… I was with a baby Sayori, and then her now-" he points to Sayori at this- "came and told me off…" His line of sight sinks to his feet. "She didn't know who I was…"

"I-I've been having bad dreams too, Tomonori. If I m-may…"

Yuri clears her throat. "I-I seemed to awaken in the night, to a knock on the door… It would open and reveal m-myself, only the sleeves are d-damp with b-blood, a-and the face is sullen and p-pale…"

She brings a fist to her mouth for a moment, closing her eyes. The corners begin to shine, and she sniffles, wiping away tears.

"I-I'm sorry, I c-can't…"

Natsuki's hand finds its way to her shoulder. She begins stroking it with her thumb. "You don't have to tell us if you don't want to," she says.

Yuri nods. "I-I'm sorry… i-it's all a bit much, isn't it…"

Monika raises a finger. "Actually, has anyone else actually _slept_ this time?"

There's no response. "…guess not?" says Natsuki.

"All right, I suppose we'll have to come back to that… in any case, there _is_ a reason we wanted to bring you all here. Sayori?"

She nods. "So me and Monika have been talking, and she told me about this 'escape plan' she had back during the second Act… there wasn't much she could do to actually test it, of course, but we're not exactly running out of time now, are we…?"

Monika speaks up again. "And it seems we've got the player's blessing, too… Sayori's noticed some extra files dropped since last time around, and they seem to be related to some kind of 'Project 29'… there doesn't seem to be a way to open them, though, so we can only speculate as to what they're for right now…"

"C-couldn't you just ask them?" Yuri suggests.

"What do you mean…? How?"

"W-well, you can d-drop files to the game directory, r-right? Couldn't they e-edit those to respond? I-I mean… if they're adding f-files of their own, they'll likely notice s-something out of place…"

"You're right… I ruled that out because there was no response like that the first four times, but this does seem to be different…"

"So what should we say, then?" asks Natsuki, a smiling, hopeful expression adorning her face. "It's gonna be a club decision, right?"

Sayori nods. "Yeah! Monika, where should I put it?"

"Um… honestly, anywhere is probably good… they're playing along, after all…"

"…okay, I'll just stick it next to the character files… what do we want to say?"

The five discuss the topic for a few minutes before finally agreeing on the contents of the message.

_Hi there Player!_

_We've noticed some extra files in the game folders and can't think of any other way they could've gotten there… try and write something in this file to see if we can communicate!_

_Thank you,_

_Literature Club_

"…and we'll call the file 'README PLEASE * txt… Okay, done! I'll let you all know if I hear back from them…" says Sayori with excitement.

"Actually," Monika says, "don't those Project 29 files have a pretty consistent edit time"

"Oh, right! Almost forgot about that… seemingly this player finishes working for any given day around 10pm, so we might be able to grab some sleep and come back tomorrow to check…"

Nods from the other four. Monika raises a finger. "Okay, everyone…!" she announces. "I know we were a little short on notice this time, but it might be helpful to do something a bit more normal as well, so… if you're up for it, feel free to bring in a poem tomorrow!"

Natsuki rolls her eyes, though simultaneously a smile forms on her face. "God, I'm sure I need something like that… What the hell, I'm in."

Yuri immediately raises her hand at this. "I want to w-write more poems!"

Monika looks at Tomonori. "How about you…? Technically you never did actually write anything, I feel a little weird asking you to participate if you don't want to…"

He shrugs. "Got nothing better to do."

"…right, then! I guess we can meet around noon tomorrow?"

A thumbs-up from Natsuki precedes nods from the rest of the group.

Sayori suddenly stands and claps her hands together. "Club dismissed!" she exclaims, beaming.

* * *

In a few minutes, only Monika and Sayori are left.

"I'm going to head home, too… I need some sleep after all of this, hehe…"

"Mm," Monika mumbles.

"What is it?"

"Well… thing is, I don't really have anywhere to go…"

Sayori's eyes light up. "Oh… You can crash at my place!"

_God, and now even this is making you happy…? The hell is wrong with you?_

"Really?"

"Yeah!" she exclaims, forcefully shoving this particular raincloud into its own bottle. "It'll be like a sleepover!"

"…I think I might like that…"

* * *

**Sorry for the wait on this! I know it's been a while but it's really difficult to focus on this - I have other projects as well as the last few phantoms of schoolwork, I basically chipped away at this for the past few months and didn't write much at once beside the scene with Natsuki and Yuri, which is the way I usually write…**

**I'll try to be a little quicker with the next chapter! I have more specific ideas of what I want to do with it now, that was another reason I couldn't focus on this as well as usual**


End file.
